Women Want To Know… How to Handle Jealousy When His Ex is Around

couple-on-kitchen-counter-300x199“I don’t know what to do!!! My partner and I argue non-stop about his ex. He told me that she will always be a part of his life and he continues to text her and message her several times a week online. He claims he’s doing nothing wrong, that he loves me and I should just ‘get over it’ and accept it. I don’t want to lose him, but I can’t stand how jealous I feel that she’s still in his life like this.”

Of all of the emails, Facebook messages and phone calls we get from people, exes are one of the most commonly cited reasons for jealousy and relationship conflict. Sometimes this is because a person feels inferior to her partner’s ex. Even when there’s zero contact between the person’s partner and his ex, it can bring up doubts and worries. This can cause tension, disconnection and suspicion…even if there’s nothing actually going on to warrant it.

And then there are the messier situations– as in the quote above– where there IS continued contact between the person’s partner and his ex. If there is shared custody, there is a certain amount of regular communication and time spent together that occurs. Even if the two don’t have a child together, they may have maintained a friendship and rely on one another for emotional support or turn to each other for advice on personal issues, career questions or home repair needs.

This can be confusing for all involved– especially the one watching these interactions who’s concerned that there’s more than just friendship going on.

Perhaps this is causing stress and heartache in your relationship too.

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Women Want To Know… What To Do When Suspicions Explode!

geyser“I need advice. I’m jealous of my husband’s ‘friendship.’ I start fights with outbursts whenever I see something I don’t like or that brings my suspicions. I simply explode. It’s been like this for 3 months already and I’m exhausted from it, yet I fail to stay calm for more than a few days. It’s destructive to me and I realize it. I don’t want live like this. How do I stay calm and focus on making it work rather than on destroying it?”

Jealousy can get so intense it takes over and rages out of control, just as this woman who posted to our Relationship Gold website describes. It builds up inside of you and, finally, explodes– a lot like a geyser which can’t hold back the pressurized, geothermically heated water any longer.

Only your eruptions aren’t water and steam, are they? What erupts from you are accusations, sarcasm, nagging and ultimatums.

The damage to both you and your relationship are immediate and difficult to repair. Especially when jealous meltdowns occur again and again, it’s nearly impossible for your relationship to survive.

Because you know how destructive jealousy is, you’ve probably tried anything and everything to calm yourself down and make your relationship better. But suspicion, doubt and fear won’t instantly go away. They build up inside of you and, at some point which is usually inconvenient and embarrassing, those accusations come out in full force.

What’s the best way to soothe jealousy and ease the pressure in you and your relationship?

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