When jealousy sneaks up on you, before you know it, you’re saying something that comes off as controlling and well–jealous without you even realizing it.
You might think that you have no control when a jealous outburst happens–but you really do.
Here’s what Rose learned about her jealous outburst and how to stop them that will also work wonders for you…
Rose knew that her boyfriend was getting fed up with her jealous outbursts and in fact, had told her that their relationship was hanging on by a thread.
She knew she needed help with her jealousy issues so she came to us because she knew we’d helped many others overcome jealousy–and she didn’t want to lose her relationship.
The first thing we taught her was how to soothe and calm herself when jealous thoughts came up in her mind.
She learned that whether her boyfriend was really doing what she thought he might be (he wasn’t) or not, she needed to be in control of her reactions and her actions.
This included what came out of her mouth!
She practiced the reframing and breathing exercises we taught her and she started to see that she really could calm herself and not jump to conclusions before she knew all the facts.
Can you do the same thing?
A big resounding YES!
Here are 3 ways to stop your jealous outbursts before they ruin your relationship…
1. Stop
When you feel yourself getting amped up over an issue, take a moment to stop and take a deep breath to center yourself.
Give yourself some inner space to make a different choice in how you react to the situation.
2. Look
As you’re calming yourself, look objectively at the facts that are in front of you instead of making sh** up.
If you need more facts, ask in a way that is not accusatory–something like this…
“I’m really trying to not be jealous in this situation. Would you be willing to help me by telling me ___________?”
Keep in mind that if your partner is cheating, he/she may not tell you the truth but you will get a good idea if you stay calm and keep your eyes open.
3. Reframe
Instead of constantly going over and over what could be happening and what you fear, find something that could be just as true.
Rose found that when she did stop herself and look at what was happening, there wasn’t anything to ask or say to her boyfriend about the situation.
She realized that her fears had been running the show and she vowed not to let them anymore.
A reframe that she chose to use was this…
“My boyfriend hasn’t been doing anything wrong and I’m so happy he keeps giving me more chances to prove that I can stop my jealous outbursts. I can see that it keeps getting easier and easier to calm myself so that I show up in a loving way with him.”
You can use these 3 tips as well to stop your jealous outbursts. If you need expert and specific guidance in stopping jealousy, call us at 614-459-8121 or to Stop Jealousy Now.