When you really know your worth, you don’t walk around in constant fear that your partner will leave you for someone else. When your self-esteem is healthy, you don’t waste time and energy comparing yourself to others.When you feel confident in who you are, you can focus on what’s really important to you: Your interests, passions and goals for the future. You’re more present in your relationship and that promotes connection and closeness too.
Unfortunately, the worries, fears and anxiety that jealousy brings with it, not only feed on low self-esteem, they add to it exponentially!
Here are 3 steps toward boosting your confidence when jealousy brings you down…
#1. Start where you are.
We know that you can’t just flip an internal switch and instantly feel worthy, valuable and confident. It just doesn’t work that way– at least not genuinely. What you can do is accept that you are where you are and gradually make changes from there.
Low self-confidence is nothing to be ashamed of! In fact, just about every single one of us struggles with self-doubt at one point or another in our lives, so you’re not alone. But you don’t have to be weighed down by insecurity and when you acknowledge where you are, that’s your first step to getting unstuck and cultivating a healthier and more loving view of yourself.
#2. Be on the lookout for confidence-lowering thoughts.
Most of the time, jealousy starts with a thought. Your interpretation of what another person said or did can be skewed because your mind is already braced for a rejection or a betrayal. A powerful way to not only stop jealousy, but to strengthen self esteem is to watch for thoughts that are self-critical and that make your confidence plummet even lower.
Don’t heap more guilt or judgment on yourself when you discover a self-defeating thought running through your mind. Instead, notice it with an, “Oops, I’m doing it again!” attitude. Practice interrupting confidence-lowering thoughts and then take a deep breath and re-focus on a different thought that’s kinder.
#3. Tell yourself a new story.
Steps #1 and #2 build the necessary foundation for this one. In order for you to believe– or even to consider– a more self-affirming view of yourself, you’ve got to stop the momentum you had going on.
Once you stop putting yourself down with your thoughts, you can begin to tell a new story of who you are (a valuable and trusting human being), what you deserve (to be respected and cherished) and what’s possible for you (to be happy and loved). This takes practice but you can do it!
And here’s a great video to remind you of just how special you are….