If you had the chance, would you go out with Leonardo DiCaprio?
Surprisingly, plenty of people would turn down a date with DiCaprio mostly because of his reputation as a player. Many don’t want to set themselves up for jealousy and possible heartbreak.
Leo isn’t the only (male or female) celebrity known for having a string of relationships and dating around a LOT. Peruse the covers of tabloid magazines and you’ll quickly make a long long list. Hollywood seems full of players– people who appear to run through romantic/sexual partners faster than any of us can count.
Aside from celebrity gossip (which may or may not be true), what do you do when the one you’re attracted to and maybe already involved with has a reputation for being a player? Perhaps you’ve seen him or her with a different date every weekend or maybe you’ve only heard the rumors and aren’t sure what to believe. It’s possible that friends have warned you to steer clear of this person, but you can’t help yourself.
He seems like a really nice guy, in spite of what everyone says.
She’s not a flirt around you.
You believe he’ll change in a relationship with you.
She says she’s totally into you– and only you.
Regardless of how great your partner appears to be, at the back of your mind are the rumors or the very true information you have about the past. Doubt and worries that this (former) player you’re with hasn’t changed after all bring up big-time jealousy.
What do you do?
When jealousy takes over, you might react by interrogating or accusing your partner. You may sneak peeks on his phone to find out who he’s been texting with, stalk her Facebook page or insist that you always accompany your partner out socially.
These jealous reactions will not help you create the kind of close, connected, trusting and happy relationship you want. In fact, they could push your partner away and ruin what otherwise could have been an amazing relationship.
Use these survival techniques to get through your jealousy about your partner’s past…
1. Constantly remind yourself of what’s true now.
2. Only listen when information is backed up by facts.
3. Come up with clear agreements so you’re both on the same page.
4. Look for signs that your agreements are being kept.
5. Build healthy self esteem and don’t make it your partner’s job to “fix” your jealousy.
6. Communicate with your partner openly and honestly so rumors won’t bother you.
7. Develop your toolbox of strategies that really work to stop jealousy so you can return to clarity.