10 Tech Tips to Guard Against Jealousy

We are not promoting the product in this video, but are sharing it here because it makes a great point.With so many cool apps and programs for your mobile device and computer, there are so many ways to meet a partner, connect with the one you love and keep passion alive in the long-term and you can see that in the examples with the couple in the video above.But…

Technology can be a huge jealousy trap too!

For every time a couple sends each other sweet or sexy messages, there are so many MORE times when a (different or the same) couple encounters a misunderstanding which leads to an argument which leads to distance and disconnection and all because of an unfortunate text or post.

Advances in technology are absolutely amazing….and they can also be absolutely destructive when it comes to triggering jealousy and conflict in your relationship.

Follow these 10 tech tips to keep yourself jealousy-free and your relationship happy…

1. Be honest with yourself about what technology is really for.
Remind yourself as often as necessary that all of these wonderful apps, programs, sites and gadgets are for entertainment, practical information and, only if you’re in a long-distance relationship, maintaining connection. These modes of communication aren’t supposed to be the main way you and your partner interact and stay close. They’re extra.

2. Create clear agreements that preserve trust.
Whenever you can, come up with agreements you both feel good about and will really follow. Talk about how frequently you each prefer to text, call or message one another. Communicate about what flirting with others looks like and decide what’s okay and what’s not. Agree about your relationship commitment and then revisit that agreement as your relationship changes and grows.

3. Never try to settle an argument by text.
Face to face communication about a disagreement (even if it’s by Skype) is always best. Set aside a time when you two can really hear one another and when you’ll be calm and able to speak honestly and openly about the issue. The same advie applies when making an apology.

4. Don’t spy.
Unless you have permission, don’t go through your partner’s texts, calls or emails. *The exception is if you have reliable proof about your suspicions and you’re trying to confirm (or dispute) them. Make sure your spying is a short-term way to get facts and not a long-term habit fueled by recurring jealousy.

5. Don’t stalk.
Yes, it’s possible to stalk your own partner on Facebook or another social media site and it’s never a smart idea. Anytime you are visiting your partner’s page just to see who has been commenting or posting there and particularly when you’re motivated by anxiety or fear, that’s a  warning sign and your cue to examine your actions.

6. Put down your phone when you are together.
It’s impossible to create a close and connected relationship when one (or both) of you is constantly checking your phone or when typing on your computer as the other one talks. Finish what you’re doing, put down your phone, turn off your laptop and really be present with the one you love. Not only is this more polite, it also reduces the risk of misunderstandings.

7. Stop playing the Comparison Game
It’s one you’ll lose– even if you think you’ve won. You can be happy for your friend whose boyfriend just sent her a dozen roses without turning that into a commentary on how your boyfriend “never” does that. Catch when you’re comparing yourself to others and re-focus on what you like and appreciate about your relationship instead.

8. When in doubt, clarify.
If you get a text that’s worrisome to you, back up and look again at exactly what was said. Don’t try to “read between the lines.” If you’re still confused, without accusing, ask your partner to sit down with you and help you understand his or her meaning.

9. Don’t blame technology.
We frequently hear, “It’s Facebook’s fault!” when a relationship is in jeopardy from jealousy, flirting or an affair. Social media is not to blame– the people who break their relationship agreements are responsible for what they do on these sites. If you have proof that your partner is acting inappropriately, address the behavior for what it is.

10. Do use technology for fun, flirting and appreciation.
As was shown in the video above, technology can be a creative way for a couple to stoke passion and keep their connection strong. Use it to flirt with each other, talk about how excited you are to spend time together and just to say “I’m so happy you’re in my life!”



Scroll to Top